Puzzle time with Daddy

I like seeing you play with Daddy. You both play quietly with a sense of seriousness. :)

Daddy's girl

You are your daddy's girl. See how you sleep like him? Mommy always sleep sideways. I can't sleep like the way you guys do. You are two years and 7 months old in this picture. You are already half the length of your daddy. Some day, you will probably tower over me.

With all my love, from Munich

My dearest Peyton,

I look out of my hotel window and think of you. I miss you, my little girl.

Mommy is in Munich now, while Daddy is in Paris. And you are in Singapore with Lola and Jenny. I am so sorry that we had to leave you because of work. You were crying when I left and that broke my heart. I promise, that if Mommy's new work will take her too much away from you, Mommy will find a new one.

With all my love,
Mommy

The Peyton Journal

Today is one of those Sundays when its just you and me, kiddo. When you're older, you might not remember, but your daddy travels for work. A lot. 2 weeks out of a month. It gets lonely for us. But daddy gets sad too, he misses a lot of you growing up. So mommy tries to share with him Peyton stories, as many as possible, so he wouldn't feel so bad.

Closing Cycles by Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho, is one of my most favorite authors. During the years when I was confused, immature and growing up, Paulo's words of wisdom made me think, made me remember the person I want to be, and most of all, made me understand the things I would not have understood on my own.

Here is something that he wrote, that your Tita Chuckie shared with me. It was appropriate for something she was going through at that time, but I felt the words were relevant for me too.

Someday, you'll find his words useful. I hope not anytime soon, though. Because that would mean you're all grown up (and might be going through tough times), and I don't want that to happen just yet :)

Closing Cycles
By Paolo Coelho

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill. None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts - and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important. Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

"Love is a commitment of the heart that will stand the test of wavering emotions, intellectual rationalizing, circumstantial allure, hormonal infatuation, and even the wounds of your lover. Anything less is not true love."

Happy father's day

You made this artwork at gymboree art class today. Well, teacher wrote the words, mommy glued the borders, you helped glued the sequin decorations. We celebrated the day without daddy but we both know he'd rather be with us. We miss him today especially. But the brownie ala mode from Chili's made us feel a tini tiny bit better. :)



After 6 months...

You know, your mommy is obsessed with patterns.

Ok, probably obsessed is too strong a word, but your mommy likes uncovering patterns. That's what she does for work actually.

So I am particularly tickled to find out that today -- the day I decided to really write in this blog for you, is exactly 6 months after my first entry. Six months to the very day, and six is a nice round number. Cool isn't?

I guess I should start with why I have this for you. Because, my little darling, mommy loves you so much. She has a lot of wisdom to share, she thinks.

Hopefully, when you read this blog, you'd feel my love and how much I want to raise you right. I hope you will learn from me the things that will make you the best person that you can be.

I love you my little girl. I love you, no matter what.